It has been a troubling few weeks for our fair website.
Scott and I have put petty partisan bickering aside and re-evaluated what it
is we got into this business to do. The bottom line is this: we are committed
to the finest quality content, delivered in a fast, reliable, and secure
manner. Thus, we are adopting the following changes for our site, effective
immediately:
- As you may have noticed on the front
page, we are featuring content that eschews themes of security. The safe
and the lockbox, as well as the computer chip background represent our dual
committments to technology and security. Though the animation shows "password"
being put into the lockbox, rest assured that our passcode is nothing that
could be easily guessed.
- We reserve the right to enforce our newly-adopted pre-emptive
strike doctrine in the interests of total site security, if intelligence deems
it necessary and vital to the preservation and protection of our interests.
We will be efficient, fast, and ruthless in our pursuit of internet terror
networks and their financiers.
- Finally, we hope that our new emphasis on security doesn't
detract from the welcoming and homey milieu we wish to impart on our loyal
visitors. We realize that it is a bit unnerving to visit a site so recently
after it has been defaced. We strive to make your return visits to MattScott5000
as pleasant and enjoyable as possible. Feel free to let us know if there's
anything we can do to make your stay more enjoyable.
Well that about sums it up. We apologize for the past incidents
and are working to put this ugliness behind us. All we ask of you is that you
continue to support MattScott5000, the internet's cradle of content.